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A short (ish) memoir of a 40 something's random days...

Save me from deadly cake...

So…. what I forgot to mention was how my day went yesterday….

It all started ok when I only had fruit for breakfast, well!! Really it all started to go wrong the minute i stepped into the hospital with my Daughter with what now I know was a broken finger!😭

I couldn't help but hear it…. quietly someone calling my name.. what was that? Who would be calling my name? Who would know I was at hospital? I wasn't here for myself.. And there it was again COME HERE…. COME THIS WAY…. it whispered like wind in my ears… I started to feel a little strange as I didn't know where the voice was coming from

I headed towards the doors to see if there was somebody I knew on the other side, then it hit me πŸ’₯ like a bull at a rodeo… that familiar yet bitter kind of smell that stays in your nostrils for ages coffee!! β˜• It was Costa! The whole place was screaming my name, the smell in my nose was agony to my brain, trying to resist πŸ’ͺ but it was like a magnet drawing me closer to the counter.

I could hear the familiar sound of the grinder and the sound of the steamer forcing hot air through the milk, warming and frothing the magnetizing liquid.

I couldn't stand it any longer I had to have it The Familiar feel of the corrugated cardboard in my hands caressing the liquid gold inside!

So that was my first sin of the morning I was gutted I've been so good I thought maybe it will be ok I can use the milk as my healthy extra so I carried on a took a nectarine with me in the car and ate that feeling a little better as that is a good thing I proceeded to try and get on with my day but things only got worse….

My stomach was growling like a pitbull on a tug toy feed me it was saying over and over I got home and pondered over what to have to eat I decided instead let's not eat I'll sit outside in my favourite spot… with a nice coffee….

I walked back into the kitchen, looking like a hungry Bear looking for a random deer… This was probably a bad idea because the loaf of bread was eyeing me up across the room… i looked at it longingly…

hen I heard a small squeak… love me love me love me love me I could hear coming from the kitchen cupboard I opened the door slowly terrified of what I might find behind it all of a sudden a big black figure jumped out with a yellow hat! Love me love me love me scream the Marmite as it flung it's arms around me… Love me! It squeezed and I felt my face going slightly blue… ok ok, I grabbed the loaf and covered it with Marmite… then I heard lots of other little voices calling oh no my worst nightmare cheese! Cheese is like food from angels especially when it's a good cheese and it was… pilgrims choice when we chose that every buzzer went off in the factory and said pilgrims choice selected!!!! Just so all the factory workers can dance for 30 seconds…. before I knew it the cheese jumped out of the fridge door and bearhugged my leg oh dear I thought I'm going to have to help the poor little fellow he seems to have put on a little weight so being the nice person I am I shaved some weight off the sides of him and gave it to Marmite to cuddle before I gobbled them up just like the poor little gingerbread man.

Before I knew it…. the slimming world hifi bars were jumping off the top of the cupboard and landing in front of me….. now my healthy eating has turning into a disaster….4 bars later (and a bag of those nice sweet chilli crispbake crisps) oh and half a dozen plus a few Sponge fingers…. oh and an oreo flip yoghurt…. counteracted with 2 healthy yoghurts (obviously to balance it out) (oh I think the sponge fingers dipped in it didn't help much…) I finally decided I should really go upstairs and stay away from any food…. it's just pure evil… it corrupts me… I wouldn't mind so much but the bastard hifi chocolate bars have fecking followed me upstairs the little fu**ers! I'm officially admitting to you, I've fallen off the SW wagon! 😳 the wheel broke and I slid right off…. landing in a big puddle of hot coffee!!

❀Linderella ❀

Ps… at least the half dozen chocolate bars were slimming world ones and 2 bars is either healthy eating A or 3 syns.. so 2 for HE And the other 4 only total 12 syns anyway… I wouldn't like to hazard a guess how many syns per sponge lady finger! 🀣🀣🀣 Or slice of bread… coated in butter and Marmite… all I can say is… I love it!!

Back on board tomorrow when the wheel is fixed!

P.S I haven't counted the packed of drumstick squashems as they were eaten after my weigh in and I count those a weight depression food 🀣🀣🀣



This article was originally published on @lynnedubell